Oh hello my sweet blog!
I ask that if ANYONE does read this please keep all negative comments to yourself. I know I complain a lot but, this is my place to do just that so SHUT UP and move on if you don't like it..
Thanks in Advance!
I have always tried to keep a journal but, recently my children have thought its more of a snack then anything important mommy so I thought I would go ahead and catch up with the people around me and start blogging because journals are so OLD SCHOOL right? Anyways I am sure no one will read this but maybe my sister in law Annie will check in from time to time and make sure I'm giving her lots of love... So, Hi Annie! Lets be bloggers together..
I need this to let out all the things I can say out loud because there are to many thoughts that will only cause problems amongst my lovely family.. My old therapist thinks it will help to put my feelings out somewhere but, god knows I can't share them with anyone around me.
Anyways my frustations today are with my dearest step mother. We are currently staying with them while we wait for a house in Santee and I can't help but slowly feel the need to hate her. I know thats a horrible thing to say, trust me I get on peoples cases for using the word hate all the time because it is a very powerful word and shouldn't be thrown around. But, since staying with her I can only see that my feelings that I had prior to my dad marrying her were completely real and true. It's beyond annoying that no one listens to me because they think I'm being dramatic. I know how to be civil and I know that I'm not always being dramatic. And before anyone says anything about the only reason I don't like her is because she married my dad that is not
TRUE at all! I knew my dad would re marry one day and I was okay with that because he is a grown man and can make his own choices and I know that at first I probably woulnd't have liked anyone but, shit I knew she was shady from the start and of course everyone just said Sarah your being dramatic! NO ASS HOLES I'M NOT BEING DRAMATIC get a new line shit! Sorry I know that was harsh but, like I said who is really going to read this. Charlie tells me all the time why let this bother you it's not like they make an effort to see us which is completely true they NEVER visited us at our old house and we always had to drive down to Jamul to see them or let them have the kids. Nothing about that is easy it was an 1 hour and 30 minute drive one way to get here. But, they are at her daughters house almost once a week and go and pick up her kids whenever they want them to stay with them. Can you see where I might become bitter? I love my dad but, I honestly truly hate her. I could go on for days about the problems I have with her but, if thats what I was going to do I should have labeled this blog The Stepmom basher! I'm going to move on now as I'm sure I will be coming back to this subject soon as she really pisses me off..
Charlie has been off work for almost 30 days now and he finally starts up at his new unit this Friday. I am glad to be having him back to work but, at the same time he has been a great help at times so thIt will suck having to go back to doing everything alone. I am excited for him to start up in Point Loma and I am praying that this is a good shop filled with good people for him to submerge himself into. I know how much he hated his old unit and how unhappy he was with the people he worked with so I'm hoping for something better for him. He would never let me know if it was bad or not.. So, I can only hope for the best for him and his new adventure.
We have taken the last week off and have done NOTHING which has been great. We were only lazy because we spent 2 weeks on a mini vacation to Colorado we're we were BEYOND busy which isn't anything like us haha so it wore us out to say the least but, it was great fun minus the kids and I getting sick the last few days. I love my in laws.. Its great spending time with them, I know I'm sure they doubt if I like them or not but, I truly do love them all and am looking forward to becoming closer to them within time. I have always wanted a sister and marrying Charlie got me 2 who weren't to sure of me at first but, I like to think with each visit it becomes easier to like me lol. I am the first to admit I am one difficult person but, I try so hard.. I'm sure if they ever come to visit us at home it will be a different side of me mainly because traveling with 2 toddlers one who screams the whole drive is very stressful and I always show my stress right on my face..
Alright Alright! I better leave some more stuff to write about for another time. I promise to myself to keep up with this I need to let everything out!!!
